Day 8
It seems to me that affliction comes to shatter the dream and move one into the reality of God. It's kind of like a geode. A great big fall cracks the hard, outer stone. It cleans away the unsightly parts and leaves behind a beautiful jewel. A crisis is, after all, often the impetus of transformation - a movement of being towards a reception of promised possibilities and a removal of what is no longer needed for the next leg of the journey.
But falls are much more difficult to bear when one falls alone, because landing can be painful.
Fran once said, "Iron sharpens iron. Best find your iron Bell. Without it, you won't ring true."
As my life unfolded, afflictions and falls came, playing their part in forging Bell. But the Bell that God fashioned needed a solid iron to dance with her, to bring out the music lying latent within her.
Thankfully, God led me to John, the iron that could sharpen me. John allowed me to ring true, even when I wasn't sure what my sound was. When God allowed new falls, John was there to catch me at the bottom. And when the afflictions of illness came, John was there to pick up the pieces and make room for me to move closer to God, closer to my true self, and closer to him.
I have been working out more, upping my game. I can feel the difference. I'm not talking about a sense of accomplishment or even the soreness of muscles.
Am I sore? You Betcha! The tightness of hand muscles and the accompanying pain makes it difficult to write this. My legs are tired out.
But these are not the kinds of sensations I am speaking of. Rather, it is a euphoria felt deeply in the chest that spreads into the nerves. A blissful high resulting in a kind of temporary cure. A way to avoid taking medicine, or at least this is my hope.
Is it perfect?
By no means, at least not yet. I can still feel the nerves firing, I am still tremoring within, and to some extent, my fingers still tremble. But it is better. Lessened. A calmer tremor. My head feels clearer. This could be because I had a bit more sleep. However, I feel sleepy right now, but I do not have a sense of fogginess. And though I am tired, there is also an energetic spring to my step, as though I could dance for a song or two despite sore muscles and tired bones.
Overall, there seems to be a reduction in the intensity of the symptoms. I think this is the result of lifting iron. The result of digging deep and being iron. The result of John's encouragement and coaching, sharpening iron and revealing raw, hard diamonds. The result of "God said, you are tough" and so it is that God saw and "It was good".
The problem I can see with this method is the need to exercise. The effect wears off. The longer I rest, the more I am feeling the resurgence of symptoms. Each time the symptoms increase, I need to at least go for another walk and reject the body's resistance to more exercise.
While it may be impossible to outrun Parkinson's by exercising, I think the more fit I am the more exercise I'll be able to do and the longer I'll be able to fight strong.
This afternoon, I'll be going to my first session of boxing. After yesterday's workout, I think I'd better arrive early so I can stretch ... a lot. Even iron needs seasoning.
But falls are much more difficult to bear when one falls alone, because landing can be painful.
Fran once said, "Iron sharpens iron. Best find your iron Bell. Without it, you won't ring true."
As my life unfolded, afflictions and falls came, playing their part in forging Bell. But the Bell that God fashioned needed a solid iron to dance with her, to bring out the music lying latent within her.
Thankfully, God led me to John, the iron that could sharpen me. John allowed me to ring true, even when I wasn't sure what my sound was. When God allowed new falls, John was there to catch me at the bottom. And when the afflictions of illness came, John was there to pick up the pieces and make room for me to move closer to God, closer to my true self, and closer to him.
I have been working out more, upping my game. I can feel the difference. I'm not talking about a sense of accomplishment or even the soreness of muscles.
Am I sore? You Betcha! The tightness of hand muscles and the accompanying pain makes it difficult to write this. My legs are tired out.
But these are not the kinds of sensations I am speaking of. Rather, it is a euphoria felt deeply in the chest that spreads into the nerves. A blissful high resulting in a kind of temporary cure. A way to avoid taking medicine, or at least this is my hope.
Is it perfect?
By no means, at least not yet. I can still feel the nerves firing, I am still tremoring within, and to some extent, my fingers still tremble. But it is better. Lessened. A calmer tremor. My head feels clearer. This could be because I had a bit more sleep. However, I feel sleepy right now, but I do not have a sense of fogginess. And though I am tired, there is also an energetic spring to my step, as though I could dance for a song or two despite sore muscles and tired bones.
Overall, there seems to be a reduction in the intensity of the symptoms. I think this is the result of lifting iron. The result of digging deep and being iron. The result of John's encouragement and coaching, sharpening iron and revealing raw, hard diamonds. The result of "God said, you are tough" and so it is that God saw and "It was good".
The problem I can see with this method is the need to exercise. The effect wears off. The longer I rest, the more I am feeling the resurgence of symptoms. Each time the symptoms increase, I need to at least go for another walk and reject the body's resistance to more exercise.
While it may be impossible to outrun Parkinson's by exercising, I think the more fit I am the more exercise I'll be able to do and the longer I'll be able to fight strong.
This afternoon, I'll be going to my first session of boxing. After yesterday's workout, I think I'd better arrive early so I can stretch ... a lot. Even iron needs seasoning.